road trip USA

A day in the life

... of a Day Tripper

Another email has flooded in, asking when I'm going to start including the musical quotations in my blog (see Colonial Virginia, left). Come on, you've got to be kidding! There were 8 in the previous page alone... I promise to do a really obvious one today. Even a blonde will get it. (That's a subtle clue rather than a sexist comment...)

Decide to follow up a hunch - as it's (very) hot, I go and try one of the world's biggest outdoor swimming pools: the municipal pool in Garden City. From a distance it looks appealing - right up until the last minute when it is possible to see that it's empty. Decide to try the municipal zoo instead, as they have a Snow Tiger and North American Mountain Lions. Unfortunately, these enclosures are empty (!) Not doing terribly well so far... but I do get to see some elk and bison, and also a class from the Garden City High School doing some commendable volunteer work, maintaining the shrubs and mulch beside the paths. The School teacher in charge confirms they do this regularly. The youngsters - 6th form I guess - are lively, but engaged and well behaved, and just what one wants to see. Ma'am, they are a credit to you and the school. I resist temptation to take photos in case I get arrested - but come to think of it, that's probably UK Political Correctness conditioning.

Political correctness, British style.

While we are at this location, let's get something off this English chest. When a Top Gear Presenter said on camera that a colleague was taking the Micky, filming stopped, the individual was taken aside, warned about causing offence to the Irish, threatened that he wouldn't work again in TV, and told his family would be exiled to Siberia (OK, the last bit may be an exaggeration, but only just). Never mind the facts: i.e. this saying comes from "taking the Micky Bliss", which is Cockney rhyming slang for "taking the P**s, and is nothing whatsover to do with the Irish! What's goin' on? (Am wondering if that's enough of a clue for my musical-clue-enquirer...)

Political correctness, American style: and the "M" Word.

Yes, that M word (Multiculturalism). America is of course the archetypal nation built on immigration. Yet it seems much more coherently One Nation than Britain, which seems obdurately to be segregating into several sub-nations. A local mayor in the Washington area has made the local news (but not, so far as I can tell, the national news) by declaring English to be the Official Language in his county. The rationale for this is to reduce wasted expenditure on translating county documentation into Spanish, Hindi, Urdu... Wokingham Borough has to extend the length of its publications by about 20% just to accommodate the 20 or so promises - in 20 languages - to translate the whole document into the language of your choice on demand. I have it on good authority that this costs a fortune.

When I visit the US, I don't expect them to start spelling Program and Center correctly just to accommodate me. I have to ask for the check, fill up with gas, address the desk clurk (rather than clark) as ma'am (not madam) and pop the trunk to get my baggage if the natives are to understand me.

When we visit Poland, I'm sure we don't find Krakow Council offering to translate it's budget summary and housing regs into English, Hindi, and Afrikaans.

Time for us in England to awaken and smell the Earl Grey, methinks.

Gunfight at the OK Corral, Boot Hill and other legends

As this is the home of the Indian Wars, I try to get scalped, but the barbers is closed due to illness.

Dodge City is a bit of a disappointment. Although the shop frontages and boardwalk in the vicinity of Boot Hill have been given a passing resemblance to our image of a 19th Century frontier town, when I get there at 3pm on a Sunday, everything is closed, and the only signs of life are some oddballs cruising up and down in their idea of hot-rods and scooters, trying to leave tyre burns (without much success). Probably no bad thing the shops are shut, as they seem to be an eclectic mix of cheap souvenirs and mexican-to-go...

Decide to try the Boot Hill Museum, which makes a valiant attempt to emulate those glorious times when men were men, and women swooned over them.

But hang on: from my favourite westerns, it had always been clear that gunfights erupted every couple of hours, and only ceased when someone like James Stewart brought some order to the place. Now Dodge City is known to have been a very lawless place at the height of its cattle and bison shipping days: but according to the museum, over 30 gunfights are known to have taken place during the period. I'm not sure how many years that period was, but surely it was 30 per week, not 30 per decade?

(See more photos in Missouri and Kansas album: Dodge City, and a particular favourite of mine - The Wyatt Earp Inn, with Wireless Internet!)
Whilst leaving, I come across 2 icons of the modern mid-west: the Sonic Drive-In Diner (where does one stand one's candles to achieve the right dining ambience?) It's picturesquely sited against a giant grain silo in the middle of Main Street.

Also the giant freight train, pulled by 4 locos, which noses cautiously all the way alongside Main Street - with every side turning across the line blocked by the interminable train for minutes. This causes a temporary traffic paralysis which drivers take in their stride. I count 140+ wagons.

On Bart's strongest recommendation, I tried out Hardee's (strictly on behalf of Davey Boy, you understand) and can confirm that this is better than McDonalds. $2.35 for coffee and a decent burger, in pleasant seating. At this rate, I can have Breakfast in America for 9 weeks for only £70.

Bison used to roam the Prairies in their millions, and supported the Indian tribes for centuries. By 1880, after a few decades of indiscriminate slaughter - often shooting hundreds just for their tongues - the Smithsonian Institute survey could find only 1200 of these magnificent beasts in the whole of the USA.
This is beef Country - and they don't let you forget it!

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